Defibrillate My Heart

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Hey guys, so this is a new series I have in the works. Feel free to give any feedback or comments 🙂 – Phoenix King


As I sat in the deathly silent library staring blankly at the mountain of textbooks piled in front of me I found myself cursing Grey’s Anatomy, which was ironic considering the book that inspired the title of the series was splayed open on my desk. Becoming a doctor was nothing like what I thought it would be. There was much more studying involved and far less erotic encounters in on call rooms. Granted, I was only a lowly medical student and not a doctor yet. It was one minute past midnight signifying the start of the 23rd year of my life. Being single, burnt out and alone I didn’t feel much like celebrating the occasion. I sighed internally, not out loud for fear that the gunners lurking around me will shush me into silence.

It was time to call it a day.

I packed up my books, dumped them in the nearest trolley and made my way out of the library. On my way out I saw him, the object of my lust and affection, lounging casually at his chair reading a novel instead of the stack of notes that lay before him. He looked up from his book, the florescent light of the library illuminating his emerald green eyes.

“Hey, Nick,” he called, smiling.

As you may have deduced, my name is Nick. Actually it’s Nicolas Aaron Montgomery but just Nick sounds much less pretentious. The guy lounging in one of the simple wooden library chairs like it is a throne is Todd Davies. Todd looked more like an Abercrombie and Fitch model than a medical student. Damn, he would have fit right in on Grey’s. He donned a plain black t-shirt and jeans and the boy still looked good. I wouldn’t call him buff; he was more toned and lean, with muscles bulging in all the right places. I pulled myself away from my daydream and whispered back, “Hi, Todd,” as I walked past.

We weren’t not friends but I don’t think we were, being together in the same class for three years with minimal, albeit friendly, interaction could have made us acquaintances.

“Nick, wait!” he whispered audibly.

He grabbed the crook of my elbow, having abandoned his throne to chase after me, and lightly turned me to me. I felt electricity erupt from our point of contact. He was still smiling at me with those vibrant green eyes, his dark brown hair lightly falling over his eyes. In contrast to his dark hair and sparkling green eyes, my hair is on the fairer side, almost silver in the sun, and my eyes are a light grey.

“What’s up?” I asked, in a tone that I hoped was casual.

“So, we need to pick our clinical partners for this year. I was wondering if you wanted to be mine.”

Being someone’s clinical partner was kind of a big deal. You basically spend all day, every day with them in the hospital. A bad choice could make your clinical years the worst of your life.

“We barely know each other,” I laughed.

“Well now we’ll get a chance to. I promise I won’t be an ass,” he said, smiling winningly.

He is an ass. It just so happened that my partner and I just had a falling out over something ridiculous and now I was alone.

“Wouldn’t you rather go with someone else?” I asked.

“I’m pretty sure that I want it to be you. Come on, Nick. We’ll have a blast together. I promise.”

He’s making a lot casino siteleri of promises. I looked at him, trying to figure out what he was thinking. He was flashing me that knee-weakening smile again as he casually leaned against the closest cubicle. I wanted to say yes but I couldn’t possibly. It would be torture being around him all the time. But my body decided to speak for me.

“Sure, Todd. I actually need a new partner.”

“I know,” he said cryptically. “I’ll bring the forms over for you to sign tomorrow,” he said, gently clasping my shoulder.

Zing. There it was again. With that he started back towards his little heap of notes. Now I’m no physicist but I knew that was no static I was feeling.

When I reached my room I collapsed onto my bed, staring at the ceiling. My heart beat heavily in my chest but it wasn’t pathology.


The next night at precisely 6.59PM I heard a knock on my door. I opened my door to see Todd with a messenger bag over his shoulder and a takeout bag in his hand.

“How do you feel about Chinese,” he asked, grinning.

“Sounds good. Smells even better.” This is my attempt at being suave.

I move aside to let him in. As he walks past me I breathe him in, in a manner that I deem as subtle. He smells better than the Chinese. Better than anything. Yeah, so I have a thing for the way guys smell, sue me. I’m a firm believer that the olfactory sense is the one of the most important factors in governing attraction.

He jumped down onto my bed, making himself comfortable as though he’d been here for years. I had no idea what this whole thing was about but I wasn’t going to question it. At least, I thought I wasn’t.

“So, Todd, why do you want to be clinical partners with me?”

“We’re friends, aren’t we?”

“Well, not really. We say hi to each other but other than that I don’t think I’ve spoken more than five words to you annually,” I said. Subtlety really was not my strong suit.

“Well then maybe we should be better friends,” he said, giving me his best cover shot smile.

“This would be a good start.”

He started rummaging in his bag and pulled out a small box, very poorly wrapped, and tossed it at me.

“Happy birthday,” he said, looking pleased with himself.

Okay, so with Facebook and every other social networking app available these days everyone and their mother knew when it was your birthday. He, however, knew and cared enough to get me something.

“Thanks, Todd,” I laughed. “You really didn’t have to.”

“I know. I wanted to. Open it. I love watching people open presents.”

To be honest he looked much more excited than I did. So I, being the considerate person I am, decide to humour him.

It didn’t take much effort to undo his messy, yet adorable bow. He’s such a guy. I opened the little box with enthusiasm and what I saw stopped my breathing. It is a pendant with the sigil of House Targaryen. It’s spectacular. I followed up my surprise with my best goldfish impression.

“Todd, this is amazing. I don’t know what to say.”

“Say you’ll be my partner. You see, you’ll be the one doing me the favour. If I stick with my current partner it might result in a scalpel fight to the finish,” he said, laughing.

“Okay. Let’s be partners, even if it is a bit early to be gifting each other extravagant slot oyna presents,” I said, smiling coyly. Or as coy as I could be, if you haven’t gathered yet, I don’t do well communicating with members of the same sex.

“Brilliant,” he said. He vaults off the bed towards me, pulling a few papers out of his bag simultaneously and put on his best “lawyer face”. “Well, Mr. Montgomery, I am going to need you to sign here, here and here.”

I autograph the designated areas.

“Hold on to that,” I say,” It’ll be worth something in a few years. That yields an adorable laugh from him.

“Now that the formalities are over, let’s eat,” he says with gusto.

We spent the rest of the night getting to know each other a bit more. Todd and I are more compatible than I originally thought. He’s laid back, funny and witty enough to give back as good as he gets (and considering sarcasm is my second language this is a requirement). We love the same books and movies and most importantly, he’s a cat person. I discovered this little factoid when my cat, Twinkles, yes, that’s her name and I have no shame regarding it, emerged from under my bed. The truth is; he’s a bit too perfect and a bit too easy to start caring about. Although I’m not one to believe in clairvoyance I foresee heartache in my future.


The first few weeks with Todd are amazing. He’s helpful, kind to patients and he never slacks in the hospital, yeah I’m looking at you ex-partner. We work really well together and best of all he tolerates my bitchy days when we’re both post-call and look like death. Well, I look like death. Todd manages to survive these late night torture sessions emerging as beautiful as he was when he started. That and he still smells good. Our first rotation is OB/GYN. Now, I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that as a gay man I’m not the biggest fan of the female anatomy. The biggest joy of this whole experience is delivering the babies. Todd laughs at my look of disgust whenever I have to perform the more than occasional vaginal exam.

After another long day, as we were making our way to the hospital parking lot Todd casually bumps my shoulder and says, “Hey, Nick. Do you want to study together tomorrow? Exams are coming up and studying with a partner will make this so much more interesting.” He smirked a little when he said the word “interesting”.

Naturally I felt a blush setting across my face. Three weeks in and I’m still not used to being in such close proximity to him. Sometimes I just find myself staring at him. Now is one of those times. Even though I’m considered tall at 6 feet Todd has me beat by at least 4 inches. Today his body was hugging his scrubs in the most delightful way.

“Hey, are you still there?” Todd asked as poked me out of my reverie.

I felt my skin burning at the point where he touched me. “Yeah, I’m just tired I guess. A study group could be fun,” I said, saving myself.

“Coolsome. Tomorrow night at 8 then. At the library,” he called as he made his way to his brand spanking new Audi.

I really don’t know how I keep letting myself get into these situations.


Later that evening I was chilling in my room with my best friend Meghan. Meghan was at the same university as Todd and I but she was doing some super genius-ey finance course that I barely understood. There was a canlı casino siteleri lot of math involved in it. Meghan is tall and slender, with the willowy body of a ballerina. Her hair is jet black but she dyes the ends a vivid electric blue. This combined with her countless ear piercings and always on point eyeliner can make her look kind of intimidating but she’s one of the nicest people you will ever meet. We met at an interfaculty mixer and were instant friends. I think most of that had to do with my super smooth opening line (So, do you come here often?)

“So, how are things going with lover boy,” she asked, while we lounged on my bed, with Twinkles lying fast asleep between us.

“Stop it. You know it’s not like that,” I said covering my face with my hands. There was the blush again.

“Well you had better jump on that soon or I might take it for a ride. If Todd freaking Davies asked me to be his clinical partner we’d be doing more than just working together,” she exclaimed with a wink.

I slapped her leg. “Of course you would, slut. I however have a little something called morals,” I exclaimed haughtily.

“More like something called chicken shit,” she said slapping me back and laughing. This was the kind of loving relationship we had.

“Yeah, maybe I’m a tiny bit cowardly.”

She raised her eyebrow.

I hate when she does that. She knows I can’t. My facial skills are limited to winking.

“Okay, maybe a lot. But Meg, it’s not like the boy is bringing me flowers and asking for my hand in marriage,” I said, slipping into a bad impersonation of a Southern drawl. “And, might I just add, his sexual orientation is a complete mystery. My little birds have yet to bring me any solid information.”

“And by little birds you mean your rather impressive online stalking skills, don’t you?” she said laughing.

“Yes. And my gaydar is straight up broken around him. I don’t know what to make of this whole thing. He wants to study together tomorrow. In a class of over 200 people he picks me as his partner and now he wants to spend even more time together. You know me. I’m already picking out wedding colours,” I mumbled, dropping my head in shame.

“Oh, my sweet, little lamb. Spend tomorrow night with him and see where things go from there. It’s hard not to be aroused under the romantic fluorescent lighting in the library with the gentle hum of the photocopy machine in the background,” she said, wrapping her arms around me.

“You’re stupid,” I replied, rolling my eyes and trying to pull free.

“You know some people would pay for expert advice like that.”

“Unfortunately, I’m not one of those people. Refund please, and don’t give me a voucher, that’s cheap,” I laughed.

“Nicky, seriously. Just let tomorrow happen and we’ll take it from there. If it doesn’t work with him there are a million other guys who would be ecstatic to be with you,” she said, hugging me.

“I have yet to come across this hoarde of supposed suitors. When you find them please direct them to this room,” I chuckled. “Thanks, Meg. I don’t know what I would do without you,” I said, sincerely, hugging her back.

“Well, the answer to that is obvious. You would probably shrivel up and die without my sheer awesome in your life,” she thrilled, lightly slipping off my bed. “It’s bed time, darling. Call me tomorrow and tell me how it went,” she purred, winking.

I collapsed back onto my bed as the door closed, scratching Twinkles behind the ears. Tomorrow it is, I thought as I let sleep take me.


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